What if I told you that the thing you’re avoiding… is exactly the thing you need most? Today we’re going about why comfort might be the biggest lie we believe, and how leaning into resistance can actually be the path to everything you want.
“The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.” ― Confucius
We live in a culture addicted to comfort. From heated seats to instant groceries to algorithmic entertainment, we’ve wired convenience into nearly every corner of our lives. And while comfort certainly has its place, it’s quietly become the invisible ceiling on our potential.
When we encounter resistance—be it procrastination, fear, doubt, or discomfort—we often interpret it as a red flag: This is too hard. Maybe I’m not meant to do this. Something must be wrong. You know the feeling—when you’re about to start something that matters… and suddenly you’re hit with fear, doubt, or just that voice that says, “Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Most of us think that resistance means we’re on the wrong path. That if it’s hard or uncomfortable, something must be wrong. But what if we’ve had it backwards all along?
What if resistance isn’t a problem?
What if it’s a signal that you’re on the right path?
Resistance is the Way
In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield writes:
“Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure, fabricate; it will seduce you. Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.”
And honestly, I’ve come to believe that too. If something scares me a little, if it makes me hesitate or feel vulnerable—that’s probably the exact thing I should be doing.
Because resistance shows up strongest where the stakes are real. It shows up when you’re growing. It shows up when you’re close to something meaningful. In other words, resistance is not a sign that you’re failing—it’s a sign that you’re moving toward something meaningful. If your goals don’t stir up resistance, maybe they’re not worthy of you.
That fear of reaching out, that procrastination around finishing the script, that voice telling you to quit the gym when it gets hard—those aren’t roadblocks. They’re thresholds.
And the discomfort you feel? That’s the toll required for crossing into transformation.
The Comfort Trap
Let me start with a confession. There are days I wake up and just want to stay in bed. Skip yoga. Delay writing. Turn off the world and scroll instead. And sometimes I do. But every time I chase that comfort, it leaves me with the same feeling: dull, small, disconnected.
And that’s the thing about comfort—it’s sneaky. Comfort feels like a reward. But over time, it robs you of meaning. Comfort is easy, but it’s rarely fulfilling. We chase comfort because we think it’s safe. It’s the warm bed that makes you snooze through your workout. It’s the Netflix series that numbs your creative spark. It’s the voice in your head that says, “Why risk embarrassment? Just stay here. It’s safer.”
But what it really is… is stagnation.
Here’s the real truth: comfort is not your friend. In the short term, it feels good. But over time, it erodes your confidence and ambition. It whispers, “Stay small. Avoid failure. Don’t bother.”
As Marcus Aurelius reminded himself:
“You love your own soul, too. Just stop feeding it with luxury and comfort—these things make you soft and lazy.”
The Paradox: Discomfort Builds Ease
Most people avoid discomfort, thinking it will hurt them. But think about the gym. Nobody builds strength by staying comfortable. You grow by pushing into resistance—by stressing your muscles just enough to spark growth.
The same is true with your mindset, your creativity, your emotional resilience. Every time you sit with discomfort instead of avoiding it—every time you have that hard conversation, face that blank page, or take that awkward first step—you’re training your nervous system to handle life better.
Discomfort isn’t the enemy. Comfort is.
In truth, the more you expose yourself to discomfort, the more capacity you develop to handle life’s challenges. Discomfort becomes your training ground. Your resilience gym.
Want to be more confident? Embrace situations that make you nervous.
Want to be more disciplined? Put yourself in environments with higher expectations.
Want to be more creative? Sit in the discomfort of not knowing what to say next.
Here’s the paradox: the more you seek out resistance, the less it scares you. And the less it scares you, the more you grow.
Example: The Ice Bath Mindset
Professional athletes use cold plunges to recover and train their nervous systems. Not because they enjoy freezing, but because learning to stay calm in discomfort expands their range of control.
You can do the same with mental and emotional discomfort. Train your mind like your muscles: by choosing stress in doses that make you stronger. The Stoics themselves practiced voluntary discomfort. As Seneca writes:
“Set aside now and then a number of days during which you will be content with the plainest of food, and very little of it, and with rough, coarse clothing, and you will ask yourself 'Is this what one used to dread?' It is in times of security that the spirit should be preparing itself to deal with the difficult time; while fortune is bestowing favors on it then is the time for it to be strengthened against her rebuffs.”
By choosing to take on resistance when things are easy, you train yourself to handle resistance when things are not ideal. When I was cycling to work a few times a week in Portland, I would take the way home that had more hills. I didn’t have to, but I chose to because I knew that it would make me a stronger rider. I also found that the practice of pushing my limits on the bike, helped me push myself in other areas of my life.
Try This: The Resistance Ritual
To start leaning into resistance instead of avoiding it, create a simple practice:
1. Notice It – When you feel the urge to avoid something, pause and name the feeling. Is it fear? Boredom? Doubt?
2. Reframe It – Ask: What if this discomfort is a sign that I’m about to grow? And what it is that I will learn from this?
3. Act Small – Do a micro-action toward the thing you’re avoiding. One paragraph. One phone call. One set. Tiny acts build momentum.
4. Reflect – At the end of the day, ask: Where did I feel resistance today? Did I lean in to it or avoid it?
The next time you feel anxious about sending that email, having that tough conversation, or starting that new project—don’t run from it. Sit with it. Breathe through it. Take action.
The Stoic Way Through Discomfort
The Stoics didn’t see resistance as something to avoid—they saw it as the raw material for greatness. They saw it as the path to mastery.
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
—Marcus Aurelius
They understood that facing discomfort, rather than fleeing it, is what cultivates courage, wisdom, and strength. For them, resistance was not failure—it was friction that shaped the soul.
So the next time you’re tempted to retreat into comfort, remind yourself:
You’re not being tested to see if you’re good enough.
You’re being shaped into someone who knows they are.
When you hit that resistance remember that it is not it’s not a mistake. It doesn’t mean that you’re failing.
It’s training.
It’s preparation.
It’s proof that you’re growing.
Conclusion
So today, I want to leave you with a simple challenge: Find something in your life that you’ve been resisting. Then lean in. Even just a little. Because what you want most is usually hiding on the other side of the thing you’re most afraid to face.
Remember—resistance isn’t the problem. Avoiding it is.
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