What do you invest your attention in? Are you investing in things that enrich your life or keep you distracted? Today I want to talk about the importance of attention and what it’s costing you.
“You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last.”
— Seneca
We’re often told that we live in the attention economy. When I first heard that term a few years ago, it seemed a little weird to me. I thought, “How is attention something economic? How do you make money off attention?”
Now that a few years have passed, it’s become very clear that attention is one of the most valuable things that we have and companies have made billions from it. Social media platforms are the most obvious case of monetizing our attention, but so are streaming platforms, and video games.
I mean, think about how we express it: we pay attention.
So if your attention is worth that much, it begs the question:
What are you spending your attention on and what is it costing you?
Life is Short
One thing that we can never replace in this life is time. We have a finite time on this planet, in this life. We often complain about not having enough time. Even in Seneca’s time this was a common refrain. He writes in the opening of his treatise On the Shortness of Life:
“The majority of mortals, Paulinus, complain bitterly of the spitefulness of Nature, because we are born for a brief span of life, because even this space that has been granted to us rushes by so speedily and so swiftly that all save a very few find life at an end just when they are getting ready to live.”
—Seneca
How much of your life is spent getting ready to do something? How many dreams and plans have you put off for “someday”? When you realize how short life is, you understand that you can replace money and possessions but time is something that can never be replaced. What you pay attention to, all the time spent on distractions and frivolous things, can never be reclaimed.
Who You Are
What we pay attention to also impacts who we are. The Stoics often talked about the idea of Impressions, meaning the things that we’re exposed to, including our own thoughts. They advise that we need to conscious of, and choose those things that improve us.
“You become what you give your attention to…If you yourself don't choose what thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone else will.”
— Epictetus
One of the things that I really appreciated about my father is that he loved to read all kinds of books about science. He was fascinated with subjects like astronomy, physics, and chaos theory. I remember having long discussions about stars and planets and the nature of the cosmos. Those early discussions had a big impact on me and one of my guilty pleasures is watching physics and astronomy videos on YouTube.
On the flip side, I’ve seen where people have spent so much time consuming media focused on hate and outrage that it changes them into bitter and angry people. There are others who spend so much time online watching all the things wrong in the world that their impression is that the world is simply falling apart and feeding their anxiety.
A interesting example of this the importance of what you give your attentions to comes from an interview with Brené Brown that I came across the other day. In it she was talking about how she often consults with leaders of very successful tech companies who don’t let their own children use the technology their companies push on the rest of us.
Even Steve Jobs’ kids didn’t have iPads. Instead they talk about philosophy, art, and history and spend time reading rather than getting stuck on social media. (As a side note I think it’s interesting that they know how addictive this tech is so much so that they don’t let their kids use it.) They now that critical thinking and developing your mind is far more crucial to being successful than being a passive consumer of media.
Attention is Presence
As humans, we can really focus on one thing at a time. We like to think that we can multitask, but this has been shown through all kinds of scientific studies that this simply not true. So when we pay attention to something, we’re excluding other things. This is why when we’re driving, getting distracted by something can mean the difference between life and death. Texting and driving is such a danger that it’s outlawed in most states.
But the cost that a lot of us don’t consider is how much distractions take us out of the present moment. When we’re not present, we’re missing out on life happening in front of us. We’re ignoring chances for connecting with others or just appreciating the moment.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at a restaurant and seen a family sitting at a table with everyone on their phones and not talking. And to me, that seems like such a waste. Why even go out to eat if all you’re going to do is be on your phones?
Outrage
Part of being human is that we’re hardwired to pay attention to negative things. This is because as humans, it has been more important to pay attention to things that might cause us harm. If we thinking of early humans, coming across something that would feed you for a week, like a deer or a buffalo, was great.
But even more important was making sure that a lion or a tiger wasn’t sneaking up behind you and ending your life. Because of this inherent trait, we’re on the lookout for negative things far more than positive.
Think of how many times you have to remind yourself to be grateful? Think about the fact that we often have to create a gratitude practice because this usually not something naturally do. As parents we probably spend more time telling our kids what not to do, in order to be safe, than we do encouraging and pointing out the great things in life.
Social media platforms exploit this part of human nature. It’s been shown in study after study that we stay more engaged and share more often things that cause outrage. It taps into that deeper part of us that is on the lookout for danger.
Easy Path
In my online podcast community we had a discussion about attention a while back, and so I want to credit Chuck for bringing this idea to my attention. So another and I think less talked about reason why we get distracted by the “pleasure dispensers” in our pockets is that it’s easy.
It’s easy to scroll for another video, another post, another show to watch. But interacting with others, practicing an instrument, painting art, or writing a poem takes effort. Our minds are always looking for the path of least resistance and while the pleasure of developing ourselves is far more rewarding, it takes more effort.
When you spend time on things that are just attention sucking, you miss out on opportunities to accomplish other things. When you spend hours on your phone or video games, those are hours not spent on learning or achieving something greater. Those are a cost with no return on investment.
For example, you could have spent those hours becoming a better writer or musician. That time could have been spent on building a business or learning a new trade or volunteering in your community.
It does make me wonder how much potential has squandered because of all the distractions and easy pleasures available to us. How many works of art or businesses have not been created because of attention being diverted to mindless distractions? When we choose comfort and pleasure over creation and facing challenges we not only lose that for ourselves, but what we could have brought to the world.
Good Decisions
Another aspect to consider is that when you’re distracted it’s harder to make thoughtful and well reasoned decisions. It takes time and effort to make good choices when faced with a challenging situation. If you’re always in the habit of taking the easy path, then you’re more likely to make choices that avoid challenges.
And this is why the Stoics talk about the importance of taking on challenging things. When we avoid them, we don’t develop ourselves. The hard things in the way aren’t just obstacles on the path, they are the path. This is what Marcus Aurelius meant when he wrote:
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
— Marcus Aurelius
Those hard things, the things we avoid are exactly what we need to get better at them. And that improvement, that development of skill and character are what make life worth living. Life is meant to have pleasures, but when life becomes only about seeking pleasure and avoid difficulties, we lose the richness of our existence.
Think about this way: on your deathbed are you going to regret becoming a better artist or cello player or having closer connections with your family? Or will you regret all the time you wasted on social media or video games or Netflix? Now this not to demean any of those. We all need some pleasure and fun in our lives. But those are all costs of time that you could have invested into greater things.
Investing Your Attention
Seneca reminds us:
“It is not that we have a short space of time, but that we waste much of it. Life is long enough, and it has been given in sufficiently generous measure to allow the accomplishment of the very greatest things if the whole of it is well invested.”
— Seneca
So what are you investing your attention in? What is your lack of attention costing you? How can we get better about where we give our attention?
Awareness
I think the most important part of this is being aware of what you’re spending your time on. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started working on something only to get distracted by social media and find that an hour or two has passed by and I’ve gotten nothing done on my original task.
One option is to keep a time log. This is not like planning out your day, but just tracking what actually do. Just like keeping a food log when you want to change your diet, keeping a time log is so that you develop awareness of where your time is actually spent. You can’t change what you can’t see.
Planning
Once you’re more aware of where your time is going, work on creating actual plans for your time. Since I work for myself, I’ve had to become better about managing my own time. When I worked for other companies they set the tasks that I needed to get done for the day, so this has been one of the harder things for me to learn. It’s a skill that I’ve had to strengthen, and something I still struggle with every day.
Whether you just have a basic todo list on a post it note, or scheduling things in your calendar, just use what works for you. The point is that you have some ideas put down of what you want to accomplish so that you have something you’re working towards. This makes it more likely that you’ll be less distracted, and when you get distracted, you’ll have something to direct your focus back to.
You can also plan times where you choose a distraction. If breaking the social media dopamine addiction is hard, don’t get rid of it all at once. Set a few times each day where you take a break, set a timer and scroll for 15 minutes.
Having a Deeper Purpose
Probably the more powerful tool you do to limit distractions is to have a deeper purpose in life. If you have a deeper purpose, then that becomes what your focus is drawn to. You do things and avoid things that don’t line up with that purpose. And this is something that can change throughout your life.
For example, if you have young children then maybe your focus is on strengthening family ties, and helping your children learn and develop. Maybe you’re an entrepreneur building a business, then creating a sustainable company could be your deeper meaning. Maybe you’re a budding artist, so finding ways to create and share your work is your deeper purpose.
Whatever your deeper purpose is at this time in your life, having it clearly defined is helpful for reducing your distractions.
Why?
It’s a lens that everything is seen through, which makes choices easier. Anything that doesn’t support or is detrimental to that purpose is not even considered. Distractions are discarded because those are things that take you away from your deeper purpose. Having a deeper purpose helps you make choices that might be harder in the moment but have better long term outcomes.
I think Seneca was prescient when he wrote:
“Men are tight-fisted in keeping control of their fortunes, but when it comes to the matter of wasting time, they are positively extravagant in the one area where there is honor in being miserly.”
— Seneca
We should protect our time as if it were a treasure, because it is.
Kobe Bryant was an amazing example of this. His goal was to become the best basketball player he could become. Everything he did from his diet, his workout regimen, and sleep was all about that one goal. Anything that distracted from that was minimized or discarded. He protected his time and attention as if it were gold. You don’t win 5 championships spending hours doomscrolling.
When you have that deeper purpose, it’s a filter for anything that doesn’t move you in that direction. Choices become clear. Is this serving my deeper purpose?
Conclusion
This week, I want you to ask yourself a few questions:
Where am I investing my attention?
If the days are flying by and you’re not accomplishing the things you want, develop a distraction awareness habit. Log your time and notice where there are gaps spent on distractions. Then work on planning your time for your days.
Where is it most important to invest my time and attention?
Clearly defining the things that are important to you, such as family and friends, gives you a lens to filter everything you do. Having a deeper purpose gives you a focus for the actions in your daily life.
What is it costing me?
When you see that giving your attention is something that you are paying for, you can decide if it’s a cost worth paying. Invest your time on things that expand your mind and improve your thinking, help you to learn a new skill, or even just appreciate things like art and music.
Invest in yourself, because you’re worth it.
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